Dear Diary,
I don't know how to describe how I feel. The closest words I could think of are satisfied and content, but those words denote positivity rather than neutrality.
I feel neutral. Like I just ate ten blocks of toblerone all in one sitting and now I can't take any more bites. That's what I could describe my feeling as but it doesn't deal with the animalistic hunger.
It's like I'm numb. Like I've been scrolling through TikTok or Facebook or Instagram or Twitter and just turned off all the noise by shutting off the phone. Of course, the next step of it would be to go outside and get some fresh air. The problem is, I'm in Manila. City air is anything but fresh.
I want to try my best in my life, but I'm also very lazy. God hears my prayers and I know He sees me. I'm His child, afterall.
Just dropping a bomb that I'm a christian. Nothing to see here.
There's a really long story for me to get to this point. I know most of you reading this are probably not that religious, but I know that I'm spiritual. I know that there's something out there. Something greater than my tini-tiny life or heck--this life in general. This life on the earthly plane are vapors in the wind. I'm not a prophet, so hopefully I'm not sinning when quoting the Scriptures. I'm a part of the Body of Christ, though. So learning the things in the Bible about God and His ways is part of the things I try to do. Also I am called to spread the Gospel--the Good News.
Everything in my life seems to be aligning. I know God has a plan for me. He was waiting for 2025 when I would enroll in my current university. I don't know how or why, but I'm giving Jesus the wheel. I trust Him. I'm thinking up theories, but they're just fading illusions. I await for when this would be used in order to glorify Him. I sure hope I could be of some use.